Religion...According to Zokah

[elmtree]

[font=Lucida Console][size=3][color=deepskyblue]Christianity can be fun![/color][/size][/font]
[font=Lucida Console][size=3][color=#00bfff][/color][/size][/font]
http://www.jesusdressup.com/index.html#

[xen]

hehehe...blasphemy at it's best

[i`m a wannabe]

who can dress him the best

[zokah]

where the fucking beer?
no beer is against my religion

[MamaBush]

I'm not a religious person at all....so, why did I feel uncomfortable dressing Jesus up?


and I thought this was going to be Elmtrees punishment essay..silly me!

[zokah]

you don't like playing with dolls?

[i`m a wannabe]

i think elmtree likes to play with lots of things

[wutangstan]

I find the red devils' outfit and mask and snorkel to be a rather fetching combination.

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=zokah]you don't like playing with dolls?[/QUOTE][color=magenta]Nope....and I never played with dolls when I was little either. My Mom bought me a doll one Christmas, I still have that doll, in almost perfect condition because I never played with it.[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]I was out playing hardball, basketball, football, climbing trees, skinny dipping, and catching bugs and frogs with all the neighborhood boys when I was little.[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]But when I started growing breasts, they stopped playing with me :cry: [/color]

[zokah]

cos yuo wouldn't share?

[xen]

:D :D

how do you make a bear cross?

Just nail 'em together!!

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]Nope....and I never played with dolls when I was little either. My Mom bought me a doll one Christmas, I still have that doll, in almost perfect condition because I never played with it.[/color]


[color=#ff00ff]I was out playing hardball, basketball, football, climbing trees, skinny dipping, and catching bugs and frogs with all the neighborhood boys when I was little.[/color]

[color=#ff00ff]But when I started growing breasts, they stopped playing with me :cry: [/color][/QUOTE]


what you saying is they didnt notice you where a girl until mother nature took over and they all ran away scared thinking the boy down the street has tits

[MamaBush]

I was always very much a Tom Boy.....had no girls to play with while growing up.

It really hurt my feelings when the boys stopped playing with me.....I then had NO ONE to play with....but was still a Tom Boy and wanted to keep doing what I had always done...PLAY WITH THE BOYS.




BOYS ARE SO MEAN.....I think what happened is, they didn't know HOW to play with me once I started growing boobs...mind you, I was only in the third grade when I HAD to start wearing a bra....I was still little dammit.

[i`m a wannabe]

the fun of growing up

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]I'm not a religious person at all....so, why did I feel uncomfortable dressing Jesus up?


and I thought this was going to be Elmtrees punishment essay..silly me![/QUOTE]because you are dressing him up and not undressing:eek:

[xen]

:D :D :D

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]because you are dressing him up and not undressing:eek:[/QUOTE]:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[LTDunltd]

See.... i know you too well:p

[i`m a wannabe]

do you?

[LTDunltd]

I plead the 5th

[i`m a wannabe]

5th of what?

[LTDunltd]

Rum???

[i`m a wannabe]

drink the whole lot

[zokah]

not me.........I lose my memory every time I drink more than 6 shots of straight Bundy
just to warn ltd b4 his trip

http://www.homesick.com.au/shopping/prodpix/bundy_bear.jpg

[i`m a wannabe]

1 shot = a full 10 oz glass?

[LTDunltd]

that's some large shots...:eek:

[xen]

i'll say!!! I drink coffee in a 11oz mug...!

[i`m a wannabe]

xen you are a mug ...lmao :p j/k

[zokah]

who measures when ur drinking straight Bundy?
straight has 2 meanings in this case:
1- it isn't mixed with anything
2- it's straight from the bottle
"glug" = shot

[LTDunltd]

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet. Happy eating!

[i`m a wannabe]

straight from the bottle requires less effort and less cleaning up after

[xen]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.





For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet. Happy eating![/QUOTE]


In the perfect world, this would be true...:(

[i`m a wannabe]

well the beer and ice cream aint making me lose weight...only way to do that is get out of this bloody chair

[zokah]

what about if you drink beer while engaging in a vigorous activity wouldn't that increase the total level of calories burnt?
I'm going to have to try it!
The most vigorous activity I can think of is sex.........I wonder what teh missus will do if I rip the top off 1 while I'm on the job :D

[LTDunltd]

prob kick your ass out for drinking on the job:lol:

[zokah]

true dat :(

[i`m a wannabe]

eithere that or say where is mine

[zokah]

http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=435&stc=1


:D :D :D

[i`m a wannabe]

zokie would be in heaven with that

[LTDunltd]

that looks nothing like zokah

[zokah]

I was younger then

[i`m a wannabe]

thats his beer and sex disguise

[zokah]

they are 2 of the 3 pillars of life

[LTDunltd]

*passes hand over head*


[size=5]"ZOOM"[/size]

[zokah]

"Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Is all my brain and body need
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Are very good indeed"

The 1st verse of my theme song by Ian Drury (RIP) and the Blockheads explains why I consider them as 2 of 3 pillars of life

beer = alcohol = drugs



Read the lyrics (http://www.lyricsbox.com/ian-dury-and-the-blockheads-lyrics-sex-and-drugs-and-rock-n-roll-fhw6mv2.html)

[i`m a wannabe]

that was a popular song in its day , for punk music

[LTDunltd]

ARRRGGGGGG, they be pirates here;)

[MamaBush]

HUH???


*flips hair*

[LTDunltd]

mp3 search & DL

[zokah]

He was one of the few to transend "punk" and be accepted in the mainstream, at least in Oz where more people would recognise his name than any of the Ramones.
Girls worldwide still use 1 of his other hits when they wanna get laid, maybe mama could try walking up to a guy and sing
"Hit me with your rhythm stick
Hit me slowly , hit me quick
Just hit me with your rhythm
Hit ME! Hit ME! Hit ME!!!"

then xenry could use yet another of his songs as a reply

"I wanna be straight"

[i`m a wannabe]

hit me with your rhythm stick is still a good song to listen to

[MamaBush]

I love it when Xen hits me with his rhythm stick......

[zokah]

to bad he's always singing "I wanna be straight"

[MamaBush]

ah, ya...

[zokah]

don't worry, he's over @ compounds trying to rectify the problem :D

[MamaBush]

whatever

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=zokah]to bad he's always singing "I wanna be straight"[/QUOTE]



straight into what is the question

[zokah]

nah he just wants to be straight so he needs the blue pills

http://ries.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/viagra.jpg

[MamaBush]

WOW....how much did that supply cost you Zokah???


Over here, I think them handy blue pills cost like $100 a piece, could be wrong, but I think that's what I heard on tv a while back.

[zokah]

I got no idea of the cost but I think they are cheap going by all the emails I get about them.
I've never even seen them IRL. This pic was included in a bunch of baby Ks xenny sent, I think he made a boo boo

[i`m a wannabe]

xenry`s hidden stash of boner pills

[xen]

i don't need no pills to get a boner...you boneheads

[zokah]

you don't when pian is around :D

[xen]

i stand ( pun intended ) by my original statement.

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=zokah]you don't when pian is around :D[/QUOTE]



he assumes the pmahn position

[MamaBush]

Zokah's been assuming the Pmahn position a lot lately.....I wonder what's up with that

[LTDunltd]

maybe it's automatic reflex???

[MamaBush]

ahhhh, quite possibly.


You would think that would bother his back after a while wouldn't you?

[xen]

that's why he gave up surfing..all that talk about the injury was just a load of bull...

[xen]

look!!! He's assuming the p'mahn position again!!!!!!

[zokah]

I dunno but I find it very strange that piano hasn't been either here or @ compounds for a while, then xen starts posting @ compounds and pian show up there as well, after they'd both been absent for days

[i`m a wannabe]

complete with megaphone ear piece

[xen]

[QUOTE=zokah]I dunno but I find it very strange that piano hasn't been either here or @ compounds for a while, then xen starts posting @ compounds and pian show up there as well, after they'd both been absent for days[/QUOTE]


now now quit trying to divert attention....you're just upset coz your little piccy got out :p

[zokah]

I'm not trying to divert attention, I'm an attention seeker, but I'm just doing my Dr Julius Sumner Miller impersonation by asking
"Why is it so?"

[i`m a wannabe]

it is so because every cadbury block has a full glass and a half of milk in it

[LTDunltd]

cheese. it does the body good

[zokah]

so thats why you try to feed it to teh wemmins?

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]cheese. it does the body good[/QUOTE][color=magenta]cheese gives this body gas and diarrhea:D [/color]

[LTDunltd]

I get the opisite






on both

[MamaBush]

hmmmm.....so, cheese makes you get rid of gas and constipates you?







wanna trade? Being constipated is a good thing when having anal sex....did ya know that?

[LTDunltd]

I always thought you didn't want two way trafic on the hersey highway:dunno:

[MamaBush]

hahahaha....NOOOO silly.


When your constipated, the chances of getting any booboo on the man meat is less....ya know....it's already packed up in there all hard like

[LTDunltd]

but what if it is hiding just the other side of the door?

[MamaBush]

you know.....you just simply know

[zokah]

if you're going to race at choclate speedway ya can't be scared of getting a bit of mud on ya gearstick

[LTDunltd]

never got the chance to race on that track:(

[xen]

maybe your engine isn't strong enuff?

[LTDunltd]

never found a track owner that would let my drive on it:(

[xen]

oh well...if it's any consolation, i've never raced that track either ....

[zokah]

bummer for you pair.


or should that be preceded by "no" :D

[xen]

heh..

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]oh well...if it's any consolation, i've never raced that track either ....[/QUOTE][color=magenta]I told you that you can take a test drive on my hershey highway ANYTIME....what cha waitin fer?[/color]