The Bar Is Open

[Gnome]

It seems plain to me that y'all could use a drink. I know I do.

What is your poison my campadres.... I'm mixin and servin.

for the jukebox is the drunkard’s fireplace.

[wutangstan]

Okey dokey, well, I'm going back to work in a bit, gotta go drive up the city so I'd better just have a coke for now thanks. Diet please. I don't like that full fat stuff.

[wutangstan]

Oh, and get yourself one while your there sonny. :)

[zokah]

Thats a hard question you ask........I really need to think about it







for about 0.2 nanoseconds
icy cold beer :D

[wutangstan]

Okay, I'm back from work now, been down the Gym, So I'm all hot and thirsty now, I'll go for a beer if you're still buying?

[Gnome]

/pours three yards....

Thats the only reason I work out, as to drink beer. The trick is get to working out BEFORE the beer.

Otherwise all is for naught :lol:


.2 nanoseconds!? Time for some fish oil Zokes, those nerve transmissions are a bit slow.


[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Times New Roman]You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a ball team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa[/FONT] [/COLOR]

[wutangstan]

He's 50 you know, slowing down in his old age.:)

[MamaBush]

Can I please get a nice tall glass of ice water?

[Gnome]

Absolutly Mama.

BTW ladies drink free.

want lemon?

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=wutangstan]He's 50 you know, slowing down in his old age.:)[/QUOTE]

I understand.


Zokes is it true your 50? They say life begins at 40...

I'm still waiting..... :tard:

[zokah]

so am I. The biggest problem is from my rebellious younger days it was "Never trust anyone over 40" so now I can't trust myself.......hence the 0.2 nanosecond delay

[xen]

:lol: :lol: good one zokie


I'll have a glennfiddich double on the rocks thanks

[wutangstan]

On the rocks? that's a girls drink. You can't use ice for the good stuff.

[xen]

meh, i like it with ice

[zokah]

I gotta agree, good scotch or bourbon can be slowly poured over no more than 3 icecubes.
However if it is allowed to sit until the ice starts to melt then the defiler doesn't deserve good whiskey

give him the cheap stuff, he'll never know the difference

[xen]

3 cubes is plenty. and there's always ice left over in the glass when i'm done with the drink. I cannae drink no room temperature whiskey lad...

[Gnome]

3 cubes and it has to be decent water, not tap water.

Well at least Vegas tap water is out, the PH ballance is that of the Dead Sea.

And always keep the Vodka in the fridge ;)

[xen]

in that case, i'll have a vodka redbull pls

[zokah]

[QUOTE=Gnome]3 cubes and it has to be decent water, not tap water.

Well at least Vegas tap water is out, the PH ballance is that of the Dead Sea.

And always keep the Vodka in the fridge ;)[/QUOTE]

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!111 adding water to good whiskey is a crime deserving castration.
I'll let you off only cos you treat your vodka right.

[xen]

i think he meant the cubes should be made of decent water...but i could be wrong

[zokah]

I should hope so, it should be spring water if you cannot chip them from a glacier

[Gnome]

yea that, the ice has to be of good water, although if one had a nice glacier sliding past their yard, that would be nice.

Chip out a little niche and stash the vodka in it too. but drink quickly, in 100 thousand years, it will be in your neighbors yard.

[i`m a wannabe]

i say drink whiskey straight

[LTDunltd]

I say just drink.:D

[LTDunltd]

and remember
[font=Franklin Gothic Medium][color=#ff8c00]Drink 'til she's Cute, but stop before the Wedding[/color][/font]

[i`m a wannabe]

if you need beer goggles to determine someone looks good you need help

[zokah]

some of them don't until you don the googles, then in the morning they only look good if all you see is the top of their head

[xen]

too much talking and not enuff drinking in this thread :cry:

[wutangstan]

says you. *hic. S'cuse me.

[zokah]

I'm continuing to consume booze at my normal rate

[xen]

in that case, i'm listening too much...damnit!!!

barkeep, howz ab00t an ice cold stella?

[zokah]

WTF, you want an ice cold motorscooter?

http://www.genuinescooters.com/access/Stella-Profile-04.jpg

I guess it'd be easy to park outside a bar

[wutangstan]

Oh my god. How smart is that. I want one. but without the windshield and the box.

[LTDunltd]

why is it I go home with a 10 at 2
but wake up with a 2 at 10 :dunno:

[Gnome]

^??! man needs a drink.


Xenny either wants a nice Stella Artois or he's going Quadrophenia mod and gonna go fight the rockers...

after loading up on brews.


Wasn't the drink of choice for Mods- cider?

[xen]

to clarify any doubts, i'm attaching a picture of what i want

[xen]

although that is a mighty fine scooter there zokie....

have to agree with stanley on the sans windshield and box

[zokah]

I would ride it even without the shield or box, maybe we can trade it to Kat or HDR for some beer :D

But if you want something you gotta ask for it by it's full name on the WWW, j00 should know that by now :p

[xen]

u mean here...not the www ;)


coz misinterpretation seems to be quite popular around these parts

[LTDunltd]

why would we do that???:lol:

[wutangstan]

Well, I'd like to say that if you ask for a Stella here in blighty, you'll get exactly what xen wants, it is the lager of choice over here for the discerning hooligan.

[wutangstan]

But if we are going to take a slight detour down the scootering side of things, here's the one you really want. The Lammy Li150. she's a beaut.
http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=778&stc=1

[i`m a wannabe]

lammy is that italian for lemon?

[Gnome]

Daha!

Well hell, with the price of a gallon of gas in the States going the way it is I think it's time for me to get a scooter.

[zokah]

but does it have offroad ability?

http://www.bikeforest.com/offroadtrike.jpg

[xen]

ugh..now that's just ugly...

[zokah]

but it looks comfortable

[xen]

looks can be deceiving.....your privates would be way too close to the moving parts of that thing...

[Gnome]

ehhh...whats a little sprocket action Xenny?

I think it bad ass, kinda be fun to take it down a rocky mountain side?


get some!!

[xen]

i'll leave you and your mangled genitals to yourselves then :D

[i`m a wannabe]

xenry is too straight and narrow...stuck inside the square :p

[xen]

no i just don't want to put my knackers in any kind of peril

[zokah]

if you buckle up your knackers would be safe. prolly safer than on a normal bike........unless you ride a girls bike?

[xen]

i do not ride girl's bikes

[Gnome]

I always wondered why they called them 'girls bikes'.

I mean, that top tube is dangerously prevalent on a male bike, suspiciously absent on female bikes.

Maybe backwards?

[wutangstan]

My understanding on that is it's because it's not particularly ladylike to hoike your leg over to get on a bike like us blokes do, but it would seem to be a quirk of design to have a crossbar there at knacker level.

[zokah]

The basic design is for strength while optimisimg speed. You never see anyone in the Tour de France riding a girls bike

[MamaBush]

I always rode boys bikes....even when I was a little one.

The girls bikes were designed that way YEARS ago, back when women wore mainly dresses and skirts. Very unlady like to throw your leg over the bar with a dress or skirt on BACK IN THE OLD DAYS.....makes no sense to keep that lower bar now days though.



ha...I've fallen on the "bar" many a time through the years....I think that's what made my hymen disappear when I was young

[zokah]

that makes a change from hearing the horseriding excuse :D

[Gnome]

^ har!!

I've fallen on that bar a few times and it just made my voice a tad bit higher.

[zokah]

back on topic, sorta

Which of these words that have no direct translations best describes you?

Bjorrier
Backpfeifengesicht
Olfrygt


hint: all can and often do occur in bars

[MamaBush]

I can't read jibberish

[zokah]

it's not jibberish.
In order the words originate in Iceland, Germany and Norway I believe

[MamaBush]

so tell me, what do they mean?

[Gnome]

Hmmm, if I was to blunder into an international incident- Olfrygt sounds about apropo.

I know I dont want to have any part of a German word that looks like: Backpfeifengesicht


I dont want no fiefen in the back!

[zokah]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]so tell me, what do they mean?[/QUOTE]

Gnomey got it almost right :D

Bjorrier: Cheerful from beer-drinking
Backpfeifengesicht: A face that cries out for a fist in it
Olfrygt: ale-fright, the rising panic you feel when it seems you might miss out on a drink

[xen]

BARTENDER!!! POUR ME SOME ALE...I WANTS TO GET ME SOME BJORRIER GOING!!

[zokah]

now I'm suffering some Olfrygt

[MamaBush]

ha....cute

[wutangstan]

And I definetely know some Backpfeifengesicht.

[zokah]

they're in drinking establishments everywhere

[i`m a wannabe]

and are always easy to spot

[Gnome]

I have 5 300lb gorrilla-like steroid freaks as bouncers in this establishment, so even those who want to get punched will have to go out back.

And I charge 5 bucks per (ladies get in for free) to watch the brawls in the alley :o

But thats just for the brawls, for ale it's 10¢ a yard and ladies still drink for free.


I'd charge to use the head, but you heathens might end up using the back of the bar. :eek:

[xen]

but i is broke :(

tab?

[zokah]

still watching the waistline huh?

original?
http://www.ggci.com/blog/uploaded_images/tab-787856.jpg

or clear?
http://www.energy.pulse.de/dosen/dpics/tabclear.jpg


hey, wally!
Don't the gorillas put on a free show with any guy that orders softdrink in this joint?

[i`m a wannabe]

tab thats 70`s drink that xenry is hooked on...he must have bought all of china`s supply of it :p

[zokah]

[QUOTE=Gnome]

Thats the only reason I work out, as to drink beer. The trick is get to working out BEFORE the beer.

Otherwise all is for naught :lol:
[/QUOTE]

BTW I find the best workout is repetitions of diminishing weights. Since I don't want to overdo it I only work with light weights of under 1lb and reduce it to zero, repeat as requiredalternating hands/arms. I find 15oz is perfect. Luckily I know places that also subscribe to my theory and willingly supply the weights.















here's what I use
















it's known locally as a schooner but usually called a "schooey"
http://www.therightmix.gov.au/images/drink_01.jpg

it saves petrol cos I ain't driving to the gym :D

[wutangstan]

I take it the jukebox works ok, or do we get live bands?

[xen]

pls god, no karaoke nights

[zokah]

that would almost be reason enuff dor terrorists to attack

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=xen]pls god, no karaoke nights[/QUOTE]




especially if its chinese karaoke...listening to that is so painful

[Gnome]

:yeahthat:

I havea special karaoke lounge upstairs, it have 5 foot thick concrete walls and the stage has an ejection platform that emptys out into the street.

I've heard that they use Celine Dion to interrogate terrorist, always work:
"OKAY!! I'll tell you where the training camp is just turn off the screeching infidel bitch!!"

Oh karaoke to Celine Dion, automaticly gets the eject....

jukebox is Sirrus downloadable every tune ever commited to recording media.
There is a stage on the roof, watch the stagediving.

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=zokah]BTW I find the best workout is repetitions of diminishing weights. Since I don't want to overdo it I only work with light weights of under 1lb and reduce it to zero, repeat as requiredalternating hands/arms. I find 15oz is perfect. Luckily I know places that also subscribe to my theory and willingly supply the weights.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=xen]but i is broke :(

tab?[/QUOTE]


no worries, theres always a few hundred in loose change in the passed out folks in the restrooms :hyper:

Hmmmmm, tab and Stolies......


/test mixes a case.....

[zokah]

a waste of good vodka. just use cheap whiskey and sell it as the good stuff anyone who drinks it doesn't know the difference

[xen]

gee..u guys must really be old, i've never even heard of Tab....

[MamaBush]

that makes me really old then....I remember my Mom drinking that crap. I believe it was the first diet soda sold around my parts....tasted horrible too

[Gnome]

^ amen to that ghastly stuff.

I fondly recall RC cola when they had win the money under the cap, and Zots and Bottle Caps (candy) and candy cigarrettes and all manners of harmful material.

I vaguly remember back when Ace hardware stores had a free soda cooler.


But all hail the Fanta generation Fanta Fanta WANTA fANTA!

[xen]

i remember RC cola...vaguely

you're like a fine wine mama, you only get better with age.

[fartface]

Tab was a forerunner of diet coke. It was before nutra sweet was invented. It was a cola sweetened with saccharin. Imagine trying to make a can of coke using only those pink "sweet n low" packets and you'll get an idea how it tasted.

[xen]

ugh...

[zokah]

yep, even whiskey couldn't improve the taste

[i`m a wannabe]

tab should have been marketed as drain cleaner

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=i`m a wannabe]tab should have been marketed as drain cleaner[/QUOTE]rust remover

[Gnome]

EEW! Ghastly!

[xen]

i'm thirsty :(

[zokah]

wot? you don't like ur TAB?

[xen]

nope. I want BEER!

[zokah]

all this beer flowing makes me wonder where sparty is? :D

I hope she's not effected by the signage

http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=784&stc=1

[xen]

:lol: :lol:

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]nope. I want BEER![/QUOTE][color=magenta]I've got something else for you to sip on *hint hint....wink wink*[/color]

[Gnome]

erm.

Well Xenry I just poured you a yard, but looks like your gonna be busy.

So Who wants this tall, frosty, first class ale? :cool:

[Gnome]

Well mebe if we light up the stage with the pole on it Sparty might show up to dance.

I welcome any and all Arabs (no backpacks or oversize jackets please, check that shit at the door) to this joint. After all, all these fundamentalist Islamist need is a good, stiff drink and a lap dance and the world would be a better place.

[zokah]

since I'm not an arab and don't wanna see it go to waste I s'pose I could force myself even though I had yard glasses

[Gnome]

Theres a trooper for ya. Selfless.

[fartface]

Tab with melted ice ain't too good either.

[i`m a wannabe]

as punishment should we find any cans or bottles of tab it needs to be shipped to the arabs

[Gnome]

wasn't that a leaky can o Tab that shut down NY's subway?

With 200 memebers of the Hazmat team with tongs tryingto pick up a of of Tab?

[fartface]

you try picking anything up while wearing one of those walking saunas!

[MamaBush]

hmmm....is the bar still open?

[Gnome]

joo bet baby, whats yer pleasure?


/hands Mama a handful of change for the jukebox...

as always ladies drink for free.

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]I've got something else for you to sip on *hint hint....wink wink*[/color][/QUOTE]

WOO HOO!

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]hmmm....is the bar still open?[/QUOTE]

I gots something you can drink straight from the "tap" ;)

[i`m a wannabe]

its called china belly not bali belly thats on tap :p

[xen]

what the fuck you on ab00t mate?

[i`m a wannabe]

the poison you claim you have on tap :p

[LTDunltd]

Bar Keep!! I need a beer. A cold one from the tap would do fine.

[zokah]

me to! me to! me to!

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]I gots something you can drink straight from the "tap" ;)[/QUOTE][color=magenta]Forget the beer...I'm drinking me some Xen [/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]oh...and someone promised me there would be male strippers here...WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???[/color]

[zokah]

I'm not drunk enuff yet :D

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]Forget the beer...I'm drinking me some Xen [/color]



[color=#ff00ff]oh...and someone promised me there would be male strippers here...WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???[/color][/QUOTE]
it was Pman that made that promised them. (and they’re gay strippers)

still wanna watch?

[Gnome]

I may have to move that shit out back with the Fight Club.

And I still don't hear the jukebox!

Better go feed it or I'll throw on some fukn Willie Nelson for the rednecks in the corner.

[zokah]

/inserts $coin with fishing line attachment
- selects every AC/DC song 6times

[MamaBush]

I'm going out on the deck for some peace and quiet...you guys are just foo fucking loud with that damned music and trying to sing....my poor ears

[i`m a wannabe]

acca dacca the only way to go as long as its got bon scott singing

[zokah]

FUCKIN A!!!!!11

[MamaBush]

who the fuck is bon scott???


I want to hear Xen sing.....and play his gtar for me

[Gnome]

Who Was Bon Scott.....

"death by misadventure"
:rockon: :rockon:


Xen singing? /que's bouncers....

[i`m a wannabe]

mama and her weird music requests :p

[zokah]

/sets up tequila slammers for the bouncers :D

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=i`m a wannabe]mama and her weird music requests :p[/QUOTE][color=magenta]What????[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]I wanna hear him sing[/color]

[zokah]

have you ever heard William Hung sing?
compared to xen that guy is Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and Bono all rolled into one

[i`m a wannabe]

this thread is gonna need mandatory ear plugs if xen attempts to sing :p

[MamaBush]

whatever

[zokah]

I do stand corrected. I've just learnt that xen has been asked to join a world renowned choir as they need a lead vocalist.





























It's the Vatican castrati choir :D

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]Forget the beer...I'm drinking me some Xen [/color]



[color=#ff00ff]oh...and someone promised me there would be male strippers here...WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???[/color][/QUOTE]

/strips for mama

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]I want to hear Xen sing.....and play his gtar for me[/QUOTE]

well i don't completely suck at karaoke so I'll sing for you babes..

but I'm useless with musical instruments so i can't play my gtar, but
i can play with your gstring ;)

[Gnome]

OK- unsolicited sex acts are commited in the respective restrooms, iffen you bust the commode you buy it.

[MamaBush]

ha...we won't bust the commode....we've done our dirty deed on it before and nothing happened to it.


*goes to buy a g-string so Xen can play with it*

[Gnome]

G-string for his Gtar? :o

[MamaBush]

well...he says he doesn't play gtar...but, he posted pics of himself once PLAYING A GTAR......so.....not sure what the g-string is for *tee hee*

[Gnome]

G-string to get to the F-string :lol:

[zokah]

I googled "Gstring" this was the only hit

I always knew he was kinky but now I'm getting scared :lol:

[MamaBush]

HOLY SHIT

[zokah]

so ya still wanna play with his gstring? :D :D :D

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]
*goes to buy a g-string so Xen can play with it*[/QUOTE]

pics? ;)

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]well...he says he doesn't play gtar...but, he posted pics of himself once PLAYING A GTAR......so.....not sure what the g-string is for *tee hee*[/QUOTE]

oh that was just me messing around with a friend's electric guitar when i went to greece in feb

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]......so.....not sure what the g-string is for *tee hee*[/QUOTE]

it's for me to take off you...
























.....with my teeth :D :D

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]HOLY SHIT[/QUOTE]

you can say that again :cry:

[zokah]

[QUOTE=xen]pics? ;)[/QUOTE]

I already posted the 1 you sent me but I had to google for it

[LTDunltd]

sitting here from 7:20am (my time) till 7:35pm (my time) drinking all the beer I can find:lol:

[Gnome]

Run out yet mon?

Thank the Maker for convienience stores open 24/7

I pity the poor knobs who live in a town with a last call.

I pity the fool with his weenis under a hammer too.

[zokah]

Thank the Maker for convienience stores open 24/7
They aren't allowed to sell booze here :(
We do have bars that never close :D

I pity the poor knobs who live in a town with a last call.
My father use to tell me stories about the time when all bars had to close at 6pm

I pity the fool with his weenis under a hammer too.
that should be the guy that invented the "Last Call" idea

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=zokah]I already posted the 1 you sent me but I had to google for it[/QUOTE][color=magenta]LIAR....I know my Xen wouldn't send no pic of me to you.....unless it's a pic of me fully clothed.[/color]

[zokah]

oops, sorry xenny I wan't supposed to say anything

[MamaBush]

ya...so DESCRIBE the pic you dirty bastard!!!

[i`m a wannabe]

better still post it :D

[zokah]

nope, just cos I screwed up mentioning it I won't compound the error by discussing it further or posting it. I'm to much of a gentleman for that :D

[MamaBush]

bah...what a bunch of phooey

[zokah]

I don't wanna know about the lovers scat fetish, so you can keep the load of phooey to yourselves :D

[i`m a wannabe]

just chop one :p

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=i`m a wannabe]just chop one :p[/QUOTE][color=magenta]shut up[/color]

[color=#ff00ff]I'm sure he'd chop my face on to a man or something[/color]

[zokah]

that gives me an idea, thanks :D


/opens photochop

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]....unless it's a pic of me fully clothed.[/color][/QUOTE]

I don't think I have any of those :D :D

[xen]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]LIAR....I know my Xen wouldn't send no pic of me to you......[/color][/QUOTE]

ah babes, you know me so well :kiss:

[zokah]

Iplay along then and say you didn't send it to me

[xen]

whatever keeps that tiny brain of yours busy zokie :)

[zokah]

yep, thats what mates do. Cop the garbage to save a mate from strife with his wife

[xen]

you're a good friend :rolleyes:

[MamaBush]

hiya sweetness

[xen]

hello you sexy sexy vixen you :kiss:

[MamaBush]

*giggles like a school girl*

[xen]

oooh so you're in the mood for some kinky roleplay tonite eh? ;)

[LTDunltd]

:vomit:

[xen]

no larry, we're not into that kind of kinkiness...you'd best try with zokie

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]:vomit:[/QUOTE]

is this becoming like worthless postwhoring?

[wutangstan]

It's hardly worthless, I think it's expressing a relevant point of view in as few words as possible.

[i`m a wannabe]

its getting rather pukey with all this slobbering

[zokah]

hhhmmmm........women always claim they do all the work right?
Which 1 will we give the mop and bucket to so they can clean up all the carrotchunks, mama (who causes it) or Sparty, the beer thief? :D

[xen]

give it to sparty...mama's ermm...busy right now

[zokah]

nah, the next 1 here can do it

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]give it to sparty...mama's ermm...busy right now[/QUOTE][color=#ff00ff]can weelee tak ri nah....i alth iz hull[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]NOW SHUT UP AND TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TAKING CARE OF :bananadog [/color]

[zokah]

yep, you're the next here.
You'll find the cleaning equipment in the laundry

[i`m a wannabe]

mama is sadie the cleaning lady

[MamaBush]

I aint cleaning a damned thing around here

[i`m a wannabe]

that means when xenry makes a mess you aint gonna clean him up :p