Mofungo

[Gnome]

Or the crux of the biscuit... you be the judge.

[COLOR=YellowGreen]In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the water
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin'
By yer radio
Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya
You ain't got no friends . . .
An' all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you been livin' gotta go, hmmm?
Well, lemme straighten you out
About a place I know . . .
(Get yer shoes 'n socks on people,
It's right aroun' the corner!)
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases, mmm . . .

This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
STINK FOOT
Y'know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn't get it off last night
A week went by, an' now it's July
I finally got it off
An' my girl-friend cry
"You got STINK FOOT!
STINK FOOT, darlin'
Your STINK FOOT puts a hurt on my nose!
STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT! I ain't lyin',
Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?"
Here Fido . . . Fido . . .
C'mere little puppy . . . bring the slippers
"Arf, arf, arf!" (crash-crumble-bump-bump-bump)
Heh heh heh . . . sick . . .

Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over
An' he looked me straight in the eye
An' you know what he said?
Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then
(Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit
Is the Apostrophe(')
Well, you know
The man who was talkin' to the dog
Looked at the dog an' he said: (sort of staring in desbelief)
"You can't say that!"
He said:
"IT DOESN'T, 'n YOU CAN'T!
I WON'T, 'n IT DON'T!
IT HASN'T, IT ISN'T, IT EVEN AIN'T
'N IT SHOULDN'T . . .
IT COULDN'T!"
He told me NO NO NO!
I told him YES YES YES!
I said: "I do it all the time . . .
Ain't this boogie a mess!"
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES

[/COLOR]

[zokah]

what have you been drinking/smoking and where can I get some?

[MamaBush]

?????????????????????????

[i`m a wannabe]

he is on something good and the green text to go with it

[LTDunltd]

I miss Frank :(

[i`m a wannabe]

wtf is frank

[zokah]

Frank'n'furter?

[MamaBush]

Frank'n'Stein?

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]I miss Frank :([/QUOTE]

Amen bro.

[fartface]

I think this should count as one of Gnome's punishment essays

[MamaBush]

pfftttt.......noobie

[xen]

KILL HIM!!!!

[zokah]

now, now children!
stop the hating we need new blood to kick this joint along

[MamaBush]

oh, okay

[wutangstan]

[QUOTE=i`m a wannabe]wtf is frank[/QUOTE]



Ditto^

[Gnome]

[COLOR=Yellow]
It was the blackest night!
There was no moon in sight!
(you know the stars ain’t shinin’
’cause the sky’s too tight)
I heard the scary wind!
I seen some ugly trees!
There was a werewolf honkin’,
’long the side of me!

I’m mean ’n I’m bad, (y’know I ain’t no sissy)
Got a big-titty girly by the name of ’chrissy’
Talkin’ about her ’n my bike ’n me...
’n this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)

(how ’re you doin’? )

I noticed even the crickets
Acted weird up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin’ on...
But there was no reply
’cause she was gone!

Where’s those titties I like so well,
’n’ my goddam beer!
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin’ twig, ’n up jumped the devil!
(he’s about this big!)

He had a red suit on
An’ a widow’s peak
An’ then a pointed tail
’n like a sulphur reek,
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was!
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin!
I said, you son-of-a-bitch!
(’cause I was mad at him!)
He just got out his floss
’n started cleanin’ his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: bang! bang! bang!

Then the sucker just laughed ’n said: put it away!
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say?
You ate my chrissy?
Yeah! titties ’n all!
Well what about the beer then?
Now, were the cans this tall?
Even her boots?
Would I lie to you?
Shit, you musta been hungry!
Yeah, this is true.
Don’t they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
Well, you know, I can’t complain when the checks come through...
Well I want my chrissy,
Oh yeah?
’n I want my beer
Hah!
So you just barf it back up!
Now, devil, do you hear?
Look:
Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
I mean, I am the devil, do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your
Titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here...
Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore!
Don’t call me that!
That’s about the only reason
I learned writin’ for!
Gimme that paper! bet yer horns I’ll sign!
Because I need a beer, ’n it’s titty-
Squeezin’ time!
Man, you can’t fool me! you ain’t that bad!
Oh yeah?
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I’ve had!
There was milhous nixon ’n agnew too!
’n both of those suckers was worse ’n you!
Let’s make a deal if you think
That’s true
I mean, you’re supposed to be the devil so...whatcha
Gonna do?
Heh?

Now hold on just a second...
You wanna make a deal with me hah?
Yeah!
Well ah, I don’t know man, you know...
I just don’t know about this...
What?
See, cause i...
Listen, you’re...are you losing your nerve?
No man, it ain’t got nothin’ to do with nerve...
You’re supposed to be the devil!
It’s got to do...
You’re supposed to be bad!
It’s got to do with style, fool!
I don’t know if you’ve the right style to get into hell,
You know...
Well, actually, to tell you...tell you the honest to god
Truth,
I’m very short on style as a matter of fact...
Yeah, I know...that’s...that’s what makes me wonder
But I have...i, I think I have something that
You may be interested in...
What is that?
You can have my soul
It’s a mean little sucker
’bout a thousand years old
But once you gets it
You can’t give it back
You gotta keep it forever
An’ that’s a natural fact!
Ooh wee!
Do you read me devil?
Oh yeah!
What? am I supposed to be scared, man?
Oh yeah, reety, aw-righty!
Oh yeah, that’s real tough!
I bet you’re real bad!
Listen fool, you’ve got to prove to me that you’re rough
Enough to get into hell
That you’ve got the style enough to get into hell
So start talkin’...
Alright, lemme tell ya somethin’
Alright!
I’ll prove to you that I’m bad enough to go to hell
Yeah!
Because I have been through it!
Yeah!
I have seen it!
Yeah!
It has happened to me!
Yeah!
Remember, I was signed with warner brothers
For eight fuckin’ years!!!
Tell me about it!
Now you’re talkin’ about something!
Now how bad is that?
That sounds good to me, motherfucker!
So move right along
Tell me what your interests are, you know...
If we’re gonna come to some kind of agreement,
I’ve got to know what you’re all about, you know...
’cause I don’t know if you’re the right type for the...
For the place, you know
Look...lemme tell you what my problem really is, you see
Ok...
My problem is that I don’t belong anywhere
Aha...
You see... I don’t even belong where you are, you see
I hope not!
I, I’m a simple person, you know
I have very small desires in life
Titties ’n beer, you know
No! what?
Titties ’n beer!
No! no man, you’re joking...
Titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer...
What? no! no please... no! not that! oh no man, no!
Titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer...
No! no! no! no! no! not titties ’n beer!
Oh I can’t stand titties ’n beer!...
Titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer, titties ’n beer...
(I’m in you! I’m in you!)
Oh no! no! no! wait...
Ah! look at this! what am I gonna do with this thing?
...wait, wait, please no!
Hey! look at this!

No! don’t sign it! give me time to think!
...hold on a second, boy, ’cause...that’s
Magic ink!

Then the devil barfed
’n out jumped my girl
They heard the titties plop-ploppin’
All around the world, she said:

I got three beers ’n a fist fulla downs,
An’ I’m gonna get ripped, so fuck
You clowns!

Then she gave us the finger!
(it was rigid ’n stiff)
That’s when the devil, she farted
An’ she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad!
(I took off to my pad)
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?

Alright![/COLOR]

[wutangstan]

Now not only do I not know what the fuck it's on about, I can't even see it to read it.

[zokah]

the yellow type shows up good on the blue background, but I don't know WTF it means

[xen]

they're lyrics of frank's songs...idiots










frank zappa for the uninitiated
( thank god for google :lol: )

[xen]

and the name of that particular song, in yellow, is titties 'n beer

for shame zokie....tsk tsk

[MamaBush]

so, you guys like it when a woman puts her titties in beer?


men are so strange

[wutangstan]

Oh, right. I'm using the orange and white skin on mine, can't make out yellow writing on a white background.

[zokah]

I haven't listened to zappa since he died

[wutangstan]

I haven't listened to him.

[zokah]

I do know that his greatest contribution to society was his definition of the most important sex organ - the brain.

[xen]

smart man

[zokah]

tnx, Zappa wasn't to shabby either :D

[xen]

'twas him i was talking ab00t ya twat

[i`m a wannabe]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]so, you guys like it when a woman puts her titties in beer?


men are so strange[/QUOTE]




beer nips :D

[zokah]

http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=813&stc=1

I'll be the judge

[xen]

u look tired...you want me to hold them up for a while?

[zokah]

nah, but since my hands are full I need someone to pour some beer down my throat

[Gnome]

you can either get smushed or drown :lol:

whatta way to go.

Zappa was instumental (no pun intended) in the PMRC hearing they had back in the 80's. Seemed a few chowderheads got together and assumed that all the woe in the world like drugs, crime, teenage pregnancy, and so on was the sole resposibility of rock music.

You'd have thought they had gotten past that nonsense in the 50's yet they had congressional hearing on the matter. Was looking at making the sale and distribution of rock and rap albums a criminal offence. Zappa testified in Congress elaborating on the spectra of artistic merits among other artist. The result was the infamous Tipper sticker- the music label warning.

Funny how none of those clown ever got tared and feathered and run out on a rail.

[i`m a wannabe]

should have strung them all up

[xen]

[QUOTE=zokah]nah, but since my hands are full I need someone to pour some beer down my throat[/QUOTE]


/pours beer down own throat...

ta very much for the beers zokie

[i`m a wannabe]

you had better check to see if it aint sparty beer

[xen]

i dont need to, there's very few things in this world that zokie wouldn't mess with and one of them happens to be beer

[zokah]

I hope you enjoyed it



wannabee, is now a good time to reveal the aussie thing when we're leaving our beers unattended?

[xen]

it wasn't unattended, you were standing right there...so dont try weaseling out of it now

[zokah]

but when we know we can't get a hand on it counts as unattended

[xen]

whatever...:rolleyes:

[xen]

in that case, mama's lovely magnificent boobies will always be unattended for you guys :D

[zokah]

thats kewl, do you stick your cack in them like we do with our beer?

now ya know why it tasted so good to you :D

[i`m a wannabe]

cack and a denture dip for the oldies

[xen]

so u dip your cack in it, and then come back later and drink it?

[zokah]

no, we buy a fresh 1, thats just for beer theives
I'm gald you enjoyed it :D

[xen]

yea sure... whatever...

[MamaBush]

hiya honey buns......MUAH

[xen]

*blushes* you make me feel like a teenager :kiss:

[MamaBush]

a legal aged teenager I hope

[wutangstan]

I feel like a teenager sometimes, but then I remember I'm married and can't do that sort of thing anymore. Fnarr fnarr.

[MamaBush]

what does being married have to do with acting like a sex starved teenager?


we are talking about acting like sex starved teenagers, aren't we? Fuck, what am I talking about? I want sex more now than I did when I was a teenager...am I working in reverse or sumpin?

[xen]

dunno....but i feel like workin' you in reverse right now!!!

[zokah]

you want her to wear the strap-on again? :eek:

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]dunno....but i feel like workin' you in reverse right now!!![/QUOTE]mmmmmm.....talk dirty to me babeeeeeee

[wutangstan]

You dirty fucking slag bitch!! take it up the shitter you cocksucking whoredog!!!!!
Fucking bitchmother!

[Gnome]

:corn:

[zokah]

want a beer to go with the popcorn gnomey?

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=wutangstan]You dirty fucking slag bitch!! take it up the shitter you cocksucking whoredog!!!!!
Fucking bitchmother![/QUOTE][color=magenta]I wasn't talking to you[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]and...that's not dirty, that's nasty.....and I don't like it dammit[/color]

[wutangstan]

Sounds dirty to me. But if you don't like it I apologise.

[xen]

pfft...clearly you have no understanding of what a woman wants.....


/whispers dirty nothings in mama's ear

[wutangstan]

That was directed at mama, not you, and I apologized anyway.:)

[xen]

i know who it was directed towards and it was miserably pathetic

[wutangstan]

Oooooh, get lord Galahad here.

[zokah]

xenry is just jealous that the dirty talk wasn't directed at him

[MamaBush]

oh shut up

[wutangstan]

Heh heh heh.

[LTDunltd]

[size=1][QUOTE=MamaBush]mmmmmm.....talk dirty to me[/QUOTE]I want to shove my hard throbing cock deep into your pussy and hammer into it with wild abandon untill we both collapse into a mass of orgasmic pleasure...[/size]
[size=1][/size]
[size=1][/size]
[size=1][/size]
[size=1][/size]
[size=1]how's that?:D [/size]

[Gnome]

:corn:

[zokah]

http://www.dottwo.com/media/t-icons/drinkbeer.gif

[MamaBush]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[xen]

u ought to stop drinking u're turning pink

[zokah]

I fell asleep in the sun after a few to many

[xen]

:lol: :lol:

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=zokah]I fell asleep in the sun after a few to many[/QUOTE]
light weight...:rolleyes:

[Gnome]

One of the great joys in life- passing out in your own backyard. :cool:

[xen]

i don't have a back yard, i don't even have a front yard....i live in a shitty apartment :(

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]i don't have a back yard, i don't even have a front yard....i live in a shitty apartment :([/QUOTE][color=magenta]I have a front yard and a back yard...but, I have to share it with all the people in my apartment complex.[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]I would LOVE to have a place with a yard again. I could hang sheets and towels out to dry in the fresh air. I could plant my flowers. I could plant my vegetable garden. I could mow my own lawn.[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]*sigh*[/color]

[zokah]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta] I could mow my own lawn.[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]*sigh*[/color][/QUOTE]

you can mow mine anytime you get the urge..........it cuts into my drinking time

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=zokah]you can mow mine anytime you get the urge..........it cuts into my drinking time[/QUOTE]riding mowers/ with drink holders

[zokah]

but the vibrations shake the beer and make it go flat

[xen]

jeebus, you just can't argue with zokie when it comes to beer.

[zokah]

:lol:

[LTDunltd]

Whats this you talk about? Flat beer???
I never had a beer sitting around that long....

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=zokah]you can mow mine anytime you get the urge..........it cuts into my drinking time[/QUOTE]

Sheeeiit boy, I do more drinking while doing yard work than any other time :hyper:

I can mow my front yard in a 12 packs time. My front yard in 12'x12'

[MamaBush]

are you sure you don't drink a 6 pack while doing a 6'x6' yard?

[zokah]

[QUOTE=LTDunltd]Whats this you talk about? Flat beer???
I never had a beer sitting around that long....[/QUOTE]

It happens when you put it in the holder while making a turn, on the "short" legs

[Gnome]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]are you sure you don't drink a 6 pack while doing a 6'x6' yard?[/QUOTE]

:dunno:


Hmmmm... might have to go figure that one out.

[zokah]

and drink a 6pack while you attempt it?

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=Gnome]:dunno:


Hmmmm... might have to go figure that one out.[/QUOTE][color=magenta]ack.....never mind, I was buzzed when I posted that[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]I found your 12 being used 3 times funny....soooo......[/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][/color]
[color=#ff00ff]I asked about 666....GET IT.....[size=7]666?[/size][/color]
[size=7][color=#ff00ff][/color][/size]
[size=7][color=#ff00ff][/color][/size]
:tard: :tard: :tard: :tard: :tard:

[Gnome]

666 is the neighbors addy.

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=MamaBush][color=magenta]ack.....never mind, I was buzzed when I posted that[/color]


[color=#ff00ff]I found your 12 being used 3 times funny....soooo......[/color]


[color=#ff00ff]I asked about 666....GET IT.....[size=7]666?[/size][/color]


:tard: :tard: :tard: :tard: :tard:[/QUOTE]somethings are only funny while you are stoned:lol:

[LTDunltd]

[QUOTE=Gnome]666 is the neighbors addy.[/QUOTE]I lived in one place that was 1313

[Gnome]

:lol: would hafta get a black cat

[zokah]

teh missus had 1 when I met her and she lived in unit13

[MamaBush]

oh like

WHATEVERRRRRR

[zokah]

I knew I had a pic of her somewhere


http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=835&stc=1


yet another pussy I liked :D

[Gnome]

:lol: looks likea troublemaker

[i`m a wannabe]

could become a catapult too :p

[Gnome]

hahaaaa yea no doubt :lol:

[xen]

i don't get the catapult remark...

[zokah]

that makes 2 of us

[Gnome]

you don't fuck with cats very often eh?


a well placed foot on that basket and a little push....

boing!!!

[zokah]

I don't fuck with cats anytime












only pussies :D

[Gnome]

Yet they both purr right? :p

[zokah]

I can make them do that

[xen]

me too :)