anyone for cake and icecream?

[Gnome]

:hyper:

Happy Birthday Mamasan!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. -Lucille Ball

[zokah]

I hope you have a great day Jo


http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=1094&stc=1

[MamaBush]

ha

thanks you two.....I feel so....so....SPECIAL

[Gnome]

short bus special

or Goddess of Inner Space special?

[MamaBush]

20% short bus special

20% Goddess of Inner Space Special

and the 60% left over.....SEX GODDESS SPECIAL

[Gnome]

:hyper:

post pix

[zokah]

.........of the short bus special you :D

[Gnome]

heheeee

so what debauchery hath the birthday girl gotten in to?

Isnt she getting some surgery done this week?

[MamaBush]

I went into Chicago last night for a late dinner then to see a drag queen show....had a FUCKING GREAT TIME at both. Gots myself home at about 4 in the morning...felt like I was in my early twenties again.

I'm supposed to have my surgery next Monday...but now have something fucking up with my bladder and am hoping like hell that my surgery doesn't get postponed yet again...if it does IMA GONNA BE FUCKIN PISSED OFF LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.


Hey...if you guys want to see the place where I went for the drag queen show, let me know and I'll post a link to their site. Some of them men were the most gorgeous women I've ever seen.

[Gnome]

I saw a drag show in Nawlins way back. I got a chance to chat and say how well off they pulled the whole look. They was purtyer than most the womans in the joint.

Not nearly the shows to be had here but you catch them strutting in the casinos sometimes.

[xen]

happy belated birthday mama....glad you had a good time :kiss:

[MamaBush]

would have had a better time if you had been here....*sighs*

[xen]

don't bum yourself out mama....be happy :)

[MamaBush]

oh, I am happy.


the past three years of my life have been some of the best three years of my life. Can't complain about much at all.

was just saying, my birthday would have been even better had you been here..yup

[Gnome]

the past 4 years of my life have been. bizaare. to put it mildly.

like being in some kind of karmic vacuume

[MamaBush]

so, get the fuck out of that karmic vacuum ya silly gnome turd.

[zokah]

we should have enabled a karma system here, so I guess we're all in a karmic vacuum

[Gnome]

I am working on it with all due dilligence

[zokah]

buy a homeless guy a beer!

[MamaBush]

I will not....tell him to get a fucking job

[Gnome]

he has a job

he's gonna recycle that tin can when he's done.

with a shopping cart loaded up sorted by material.

[zokah]

what other sort of job could he get with all the mexicans wandering in and working cheap?

[MamaBush]

ha...he could work the jobs that the Latinos are doing now


but those jobs are probably beneath him.....DAMN THE LAZY WHITE MAN....ha

[Gnome]

i keep asking coworkers to drop something on me so I can collect disability.

I dont qualify for welfare, food cards, free medical. If I quit or lost my job tommorow I'd be on the streets in 6 months or less (if I resited my overpowering natural instinct that is, get a new job immediatly).

I've worked fast food, local resturants, hard menial labor, construction, landscaping, printing and silk screening, newspaper routes, graphics and illustration, consulting and managment.

I'm afraid I have little excuses to the unemployment board for NOT finding a job.

Damn my work ethics!!

[MamaBush]

ya, mine suck as well


I've even worked through shifts while having small heart attacks....but then again, that's probably my RED side coming out


*grins*

[zokah]

my work ethics can only be overidden by nature.
I'll work when I'm sick
I'll work when I'm tired
I'll even work when I'm hungover
But I won't work when mother nature gives me a gift, then I call in sick - I've even quit a job cos the surf was to good to bypass :D

[Gnome]

a man with defined priorities

I'll do the same thing, I'll call in me too much sick just to get out and enjoy the thunderstorms.

but I worked today and I'll work tommorow which is against my religion.

[zokah]

Religion you say?

I found a great site - "Know your bible" (http://russellsteapot.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=88&Itemid=46)

I'll just quote their disclaimer

[SIZE=5]WARNING[/SIZE]

The following images contain GRAPHIC content. If you are not accustomed to dealing with the full impact of following Christian dogma, please DO NOT click any of the links below.

Seriously. There's some graphic stuff here.



don't say I didn't warn you :rolleyes:

[i`m a wannabe]

seen worse than that

[Gnome]

man gets what he deserves, not what he demands.

[MamaBush]

HOLY FUCK.....is that Mr. Wannabe?

[xen]

yes it is....welcome back emma

[Gnome]

That's nice, boys, just don't put those beans in your ears

[xen]

what do you think we are?? Gnomes??

[MamaBush]

no way could you be a gnome....your manhood is too big

[xen]

*blush*

[Gnome]

shows what y'all know about gnomes.

[MamaBush]

hey....all you have to do is post a pic of a gnome's manhood to show us how wrong we are.

[Gnome]

haha

you wish

[xen]

no i don't

[zokah]

Gnomey is shy as you can see

http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=62

but he's finally gettin some, as you'll see from the next pic :D

[xen]

hehehe

[MamaBush]

hahahahaha

[Gnome]

i'd rather be goin in head first :lol:

[zokah]

I don't have a pic of that, but I do have 1 of what we'd see
I hope xenny doesn't get to excited


http://forumerz.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=791&stc=1

[MamaBush]

oh shut up

[Gnome]

dont have any bare assed gnomes in my collection


partake?

[i`m a wannabe]

gnomey needs some moonie gnomes to add

[zokah]

Here's some to add to your collection :D

http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/The%20Dope.gif

http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//gnome_walking_md_clr.gif. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery%20Beer%20drinking_files/Photos/Belgian%20Resin%20Garden%20Gnome%20(Ale%20Barrell)%2011inch%202005%20(web)%20(web)_thumb.gif

http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery2%20rude-naughty_files/Photos/Up%20you%20Jack%20(web).gif


http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery%20Lady%20gnomes_files/Photos/Frau%20exhibitionist%20Germany%202005%20(web)%20(web).gif


the rest are NSFW

http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery2%20rude-naughty_files/Photos/Michael%20(web).gif
http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery%20Rude%20gnomes_files/Photos/Rude%20Czech%20Gnome%202005%20(web)%20(web).gif
http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery2%20rude-naughty_files/Photos/Flash%20Harry%20(web).gif
http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Gallery%20Rude%20gnomes_files/Photos/Germany%202005%20handpainted%20plastic%20(like%20stone)%20Traditional%20co%20(web)%20(web).gif

[MamaBush]

I just love those tiny red Xs

[Gnome]

:eek:


OMG! I gotta get me some of them!

I cant wait for the HOA too see em!

[zokah]

[QUOTE=MamaBush]I just love those tiny red Xs[/QUOTE]

they not showing for you?
even after clearing my cache they still load for me

[MamaBush]

no, I can see them now.

they were just tiny red Xs yesterday



hey, I think that last one is my mother

[Gnome]

your mom wears gold brassiers and fishnets?

[MamaBush]

for the right price, yes

[zokah]

and she's a female gnome?

[Gnome]

sounds like a cool mom.

I miss my moms cooking.

[MamaBush]

me too.....you bastard


*cries thinking about mom....wish she'd move back to this area*

[Gnome]

I have arrived at a point where the good memories of me mom stick in my heart and I dont fog out in a haze of cynicism, anger or stupefication.

mosty...mostly

I can now try to re create her 'tater salad ^_^
tis legend!

life is...funny.

[MamaBush]

yes it is


I've learned so much from my Mommy....I've always wondered why the rest of my siblings never picked up on and do all of the things my Mommy could do, but I did?

[Gnome]

are you the oldest?


my family is textbook example:

I'm the oldest and ended up the responisble one. my sister is in the middle and is the dysfunctional drama expert. my brother is the youngest and wound up the baby.

the two things I got from my mom is certain cooking abilities, horrid sarcasm, and a skewerd sense of humor.

[zokah]

My family is/was to dysfunctional to contemplate but my mother did teach me how to gamble

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=Gnome]are you the oldest?


my family is textbook example:

I'm the oldest and ended up the responisble one. my sister is in the middle and is the dysfunctional drama expert. my brother is the youngest and wound up the baby.

the two things I got from my mom is certain cooking abilities, horrid sarcasm, and a skewerd sense of humor.[/QUOTE]nope....I'm the middle kid of my mom's kids....the baby girl.

I think maybe because I am so much closer to my mom than my siblings, maybe that's why I picked up on all the things she was able to do. Idunno

[Gnome]

I can see how that would work. How many siblings?

My mom relied on me to be the 'man' of the house after my folks split up, I was like 10. All of us kids had to grow up fast. We had to get our selfs off to school, clean around the house and try not to kill each other.
Moms had to work, I learned how to cook.

My mom taught me how to shuffle cards, but Pinochle and hearts was about it, no gambling ^_^

[MamaBush]

There were 7 of us while growing up...now there's 5 of us left


Mom's had to work in our family as well....she started working when I was about 11, and I, while I had older siblings, was for some reason responsible for cooking dinner every night and cleaning the house, while battling with my 2 brothers....my older sister, who was still living at home was a lazy bitch....come to think of it, she still is.

[Gnome]

hahahaa

my seester is a bi-polar lunatic who abuses psycotropic meds. My brother is a babe in the woods who smokes waaay to much pot. Or he did, he's been clean for two months becasue he needs to get a job now.

Both of them would like nothing better than for I to let them move in with me so they could live free and easy. seemingly, they can't see the astonomical odds against that ever happening.

7! damn, I can picture battles just to use the bathroom.

[zokah]

you can choose your friends but not your relations

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=Gnome]
7! damn, I can picture battles just to use the bathroom.[/QUOTE]funny thing is....there were 9 people living in a small three bedroom house with only one bathroom for YEARS AND YEARS....not once did we ever have a battle.


we just learned that there's no such thing as privacy or being modest. We would easily have one person shitting, one in the shower, one brushing their teeth, while one did their hair...all in the bathroom at one time.

[zokah]

thats sounds like a sharehouse I once lived in

[Gnome]

yea growing up held little privacy, the only place I could wackoff in peace was in the tree house. Almost fell out once with a 1977 Playboy issue in one hand and my jimmy in the other.

Nowadays I have my own bathroom and thats the only place I can get any reading done. Usually with a cat using my pants as a hammok

[zokah]

there is nothing more conducive to a good shit than a magazine

[Gnome]

yep; it's like the library at Alexander next to my crapper

[zokah]

I only keep the current edition of "Tracks" in the reading room

[i`m a wannabe]

if i read anything these days it makes me sleep

[Gnome]

sleep? whats that?

well I had to google that there tracks magazine, got an apparent link and it opened up far enough to recognise a surf rag then I caught a trojan.

surf hackers?

[MamaBush]

huh??

[Gnome]

i concur

[zokah]

Tracks is the surfers bible. It's now owned by a multinational and it's been deteriorating ever since. Some of those writing for it have obviously never even seen a beach let alone surfed an isolated reef.
Dunno about the trojan, was this the site? http://www.tracksmag.com/index.php

[Gnome]

i'm afraid to open it.

[zokah]

I wouldn't post it if it wasn't safe

[Gnome]

Trojan found and cleaned

file sp352452548[1] was deleted

bizzare-

[zokah]

not me and today was the day for my weekly full system scan and it was zero infections found

[Gnome]

my scans catching it on the fly, so I wonder if it's something comming along for the ride off another server?

[zokah]

it must be, cos I checked my setting and it should be picking anything up but it didn't twitch when I opened the page again

[MamaBush]

HEY....this is my birthday thread


stop talking about that boring ass shit.......




ummmmm, what can we talk about?


OH I KNOW!!!

I already know that my love has the biggest dick here.....who here has the second, third, fourth, etc. biggest dick here?

[xen]

we can talk about my birthday and why no one made me a birthday thread :cry:

[Gnome]

well.

as a gentleman I dont really discuss the size of my dick in company.

and since I only wield it for only the most discriminating pussy I'll have to opt out for any self serving dick size comparison. suffice it to say that it gets the job done.


the water is cold and deep.

[zokah]

you're right, the water is cold

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=xen]we can talk about my birthday and why no one made me a birthday thread :cry:[/QUOTE]I never look at the calendar....:cry:

[Gnome]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][FONT=Arial Narrow]good trout weather eh?[/FONT][/COLOR]

[zokah]

I dunno cos I'm not patient enuff to be a fisherman. Thats why I prefer spearfishing

[Gnome]

yea thats one way to get em right to the point, as it where

but consider the wonders of slowl'y sneaking down a fast running, crystal clear, ice cold mountain creek with your fly gear. When the Brownie or Steelhead trout can see you at 100 yards :lol:

good stuff man!

[zokah]

I was taught an easy way to do that, just toss in a 1/4 stick of gelli and scoop them out with a net

[MamaBush]

fishing is...hmmmm....a reflective time


I miss it

[Gnome]

getting out fishing, hiking and camping is my key to balance.

keeps me from climbing water towers.

[MamaBush]

with a rifle and ammo, correct?

[xen]

remind me not to go near any water towers iffin i ever make it to vegas

[Gnome]

I jest.

I'm a very well adjusted individual.

Why, I feel much better after my stay in that institution.


:lol:

and Xen, we'd have to find the watering holes, not the towers.

[zokah]

aren't they under the towers?

[MamaBush]

*runs through thread naked again*


oh look...a big white tower

[xen]

forget that...look at the tower you've caused in my pants by running thru naked!!

[MamaBush]

oooo there's Xen's boner


*licks it*

[xen]

woo hoo!

[i`m a wannabe]

jake the peg with the extra leg?

[xen]

you what now?

[i`m a wannabe]

where and when

[Gnome]

here and now

[zokah]

been there, done that, got the f'ing t-shirt

[xen]

i didnt get a tshirt...

[MamaBush]

yes you did

[Gnome]

he dont remember your gifts?

[xen]

i never got that....zokie must have intercepted it ....:(

[MamaBush]

Gnome's pulling your chain.

I've never been to Vegas, so how could I buy you a Vegas t-shirt?

[xen]

damned chain puller!! :mad:

[Gnome]

consider it an early wedding gift :p

better get a visa here before the Democrats come back

some of them are mighty miffed cuzz they got a lot of work to do and no raise just yet

Hillarys gonna be sportin that Clinton Family Bible a lot

"to bind their kings with fetters,
their nobles with shackles of iron"

psalm 149

[xen]

hooray for the democrats!

[Gnome]

you bet. I wonder if the UN will suddenly become am entity for global stability soon. and I hear Ahmadinejad has taken up knitting.

[MamaBush]

[QUOTE=Gnome]consider it an early wedding gift :p

[/QUOTE]that would be a LATE wedding gift, silly


Xen and I married quite a long time ago....and, I'm still waiting for our honeymoon :(

[Gnome]

got it

I remember my honeymoon. we was so exhausted! but what a day- we went to Dizzyland

[MamaBush]

hell, I'd be happy with a simple weekend in a hotel room somewhere for my honeymoon with Xen

[Gnome]

he should take you to Hawaii or like Cedar Point to ride coasters all day

[MamaBush]

nope....just a hotel room


that's all I want

[Gnome]

yea that

Mirage (http://www.oldvegaschips.com/1miragesuites.htm)


TI (http://www.treasureisland.com/pages/accom_penthousesuite.asp)

Hilton (http://)

player paradise (http://www.motel6.com/reservations/motel_detail.asp?MotelId=0067)




:lol:

[MamaBush]

the "hilton" won't show up

the "player paradise" sucks ass....generic


I would love to spend a weekend at the Mirage or TI...those look fantastic

[xen]

what happens in vegas stays in vegas?

[Gnome]

mebe back when the mob ran this shithole

out of the 'old school' places Caesars will always remain my fave. Of the new places Mirage is preferable over say the Belagio or Wynn, but thats just me.

I love the Mirage- Secret Garden (http://www.mirage.com/attractions/attractions_dolphins.aspx)

Last week I too kthe missus to a kick ass steak house at the Monte carlo

Blackstones (http://www.montecarlo.com/dining/blackstone.aspx)

and to finaly see Lance Burton (out of the 25 years he's been here!!), who simply ownes copperfields ass IMHO!